


The Real Thing

by belmanoir



Category: due South
Genre: Church Sex, Handcuffs, Happy Ending, M/M, Undercover As Gay, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-04
Updated: 2012-04-04
Packaged: 2017-11-03 01:18:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/375468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belmanoir/pseuds/belmanoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Fraser's neighbor overdoses on a mysterious new drug, Fraser and Ray investigate.  They think they're going to a gay club.  The truth is a lot scarier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Real Thing

**Author's Note:**

> [Originally posted](http://community.livejournal.com/ds_fang_or_fur/3506.html)
> 
>  
> 
> to the awesome lj comm=ds_fang_or_fur.

Ray saw the ambulance in front of Fraser's apartment building from six blocks away. He didn't even bother putting on the portable flasher, just pulled out into oncoming traffic and passed the Volvo in front of him at 90 miles an hour.

The ambulance pulled away just as the Riv screeched to a halt behind it, but Fraser was standing on the sidewalk in one of his ridiculous sweaters, so that was okay.

Okay, at least, until Fraser opened the Riv's back door for Diefenbaker...and the gypsy woman who lived down the hall.

"Don't let her steal anything," Ray told Dief while Fraser was walking around to the passenger door.

"Mrs. Kaldera's son is being taken to the emergency room at Mercy Hospital," Fraser said, and Ray pulled out and headed for Michigan Avenue. "He overdosed on something Mrs. Kaldera refers to as 'Third Eye.'"

"They cannot help him at the hospital," Mrs. Kaldera said in a thick Eastern European accent. She was glaring at Fraser, from which Ray inferred that Benny had called the ambulance. "Third Eye doesn't attack the body. He will bear the scars here." She tapped her temple.

Fraser looked troubled.

"Sure," Ray said, "it's a magical drug that goes right to the brain without going through your blood first. Because there are so many of those."

"No," Mrs. Kaldera said. "Only Third Eye. It lets you see what you shouldn't. Forces you to see it. My poor foolish boy..." She trailed off into muttering.

"And where did your poor foolish boy obtain this wonderdrug?" Ray asked, because he saw where this was going.

"The Heart of Glass, of course," she said, fixing her beady eyes on him in the rearview mirror. "Where those who are cursed with unnatural desires go to slake their lusts on the innocents they have recruited to their ways."

Fraser gave Ray a meaningful look. Oh, for fuck's sake.

"If you go there, take protection," Mrs. Kaldera said, and Ray almost drove through a red light. "You're a good Catholic boy, aren't you?"

"Good enough," Ray said, pulling his cross out of the front of his shirt and showing it to her.

She nodded. "You'll be safe."

They dropped her off at the hospital, and then Ray turned to Fraser and said, "I am not investigating a damn gay bar with you."

Fraser gave Ray a funny look. "Is that what you think she meant?"

"Well, I guess it could be another leather club," Ray said, "but Blondie is more of a gay thing."

"Oh," Fraser said.

"Anyway, Fraser, the answer is no. I'll call a guy I know in Vice. They'll deal with it."

"If you think that's best."

"Yeah, Fraser, I think that's best! Also, 'take protection'? What, does she think I'm going to seduce a gay drug dealer for information?"

"Mrs. Kaldera's son looked very ill."

"Is this the kid who tried to take a sledgehammer to the Riv?"

"He merely offered to pound out the dent from when you hit that garbage can, Ray."

"Yeah, he and his buddies offered while we were stopped at a red light, and when I told him to fuck off he tried to smash the windshield."

"You're exaggerating."

"Not by enough," Ray said, stroking the dash and feeling jittery and protective all over again. "That was some crazy talk, huh? Unnatural lusts. Who knew gypsies were so homophobic?"

"I believe the preferred term is Roma," Fraser said disapprovingly. "The EMTs weren't sure Christian would make it."

"Fine," Ray said, defeated. "Fine, Fraser, we'll go to the gay bar. But you are not wearing your damned uniform, first of all this is undercover and second of all I don't have enough firepower to protect you from the lustful mob that would result. Go upstairs and put on something gay. I'll be back in an hour."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going home to change, where do you think I'm going?"

"What's wrong with what you're wearing?"

 _Man, Canada must be a weird, weird place._ "Nobody wears a suit to a bar except suicidal stockbrokers, Benny. Besides, no way I'm gonna pass for queer like this. I gotta find something a little more...done up. Gay guys care how they look."

"You care how you look, Ray. You always give the utmost attention to your appearance."

"Yeah, but not in a gay way. My look says macho, but thoughtful."

"Ah," Fraser said. "Like your hair."

"What about my hair?" Ray asked defensively, running a hand over his closely shaven scalp.

"It says deadly and dangerous but not afraid to cry."

Ray sighed. "Yeah, it used to say that, Benny. Now it just says I ain't got much hair left."

Fraser frowned. "I like your new haircut."

"Really?"

"Yes," Fraser said firmly. "It adds a note of vulnerability to your tough presentation."

"Really?" Ray said, running a hand over his head again, this time to hide the fact that he was blushing.

"Besides," Fraser said, "there is the tactile component. I remember when I buzzed my hair before beginning my basic training; I was constantly approached by people wishing to touch my head."

"Yeah, well," Ray said, feeling suddenly deflated, "I'm not you, Fraser. See you in an hour."

###

Ray looked in the mirror. He was wearing his most closely tailored white button-down, chinos, and his nicest pair of Italian leather shoes. The gold chain of his cross glinted at his open collar. He could pass. No one was going to be looking at him too closely, anyway. He was gonna be standing next to Benny. Ray felt a pleasant zing in his nerves; it was the one he always got when he was assuming a new identity, working a new turf, and tonight it was even stronger than usual.

But he still needed a coat, and all he seemed to own were oversized trench coats and a couple of jackets that, now he looked, looked like oversized trench coats chopped off at the waist. Which were fine, but not really going with the whole gay theme. "Hey, Frannie," he yelled. "Have you still got my old motorcycle jacket around somewhere?"

"Sure," she hollered back. "But isn't it a little early for your midlife crisis?" When he walked into her room, she turned from the closet, his old jacket in her hands, and raised her eyebrows. "Going on a date?"

To his eternal shame and annoyance, Ray blushed like a girl. " _No_ ," he said. "Like I would wear that jacket on a date, it's embarrassing. I'm investigating."

"Where?"

"Place called the Heart of Glass," he said. "You heard of it?"

"Gay bar, huh? I thought you looked a little fruity."

"Thanks, Frannie," he said, swiping the jacket out of her hands. "Don't wait up."

"Don't let Fraser get you into a gay dumpster," she said. "I like that jacket."

###

Ray stood outside Fraser's door and tried to remind himself that this was not actually a date and there was no reason to feel nervous. It didn't work, so he just knocked and tried to look casual. God, this was weird, and also weirdly like being in high school again. At least he wouldn't have to make small talk about Days of Our Lives with Fraser's mom.

"Come in," Fraser called, so Ray did. Fraser was nowhere in sight. Ray wandered through his apartment until he got to the bathroom, and then almost fainted.

Fraser was wearing a pair of those tight jeans of his and bending over his sink as he put on eyeliner. "Sorry," he said. "But you _are_ twelve minutes early."

Ray leaned against the side of the sink. "Eyeliner, Benny?" This was really, _really_ weird. Fraser was wearing a look of utter concentration and smoothly working an eyeliner pencil like he did it every day, his mouth slightly open, and Ray was---but it was just because he'd done this with Ange, a million times. He'd always leaned against the sink and watched her while she got ready to go out with him, looking like a million bucks and _his_ , and this was just spillover from that, that was all. Sure, Fraser _wasn't_ Ange, that was made very obvious by the fact that he was wearing a white undershirt and there was absolutely nothing girl-like about Benny's chest, or his shoulders, or his biceps for that matter. But even so, it was just confusion and memories, that was all.

"Well, Ray," Fraser said, "I still have Ms. Fraser's makeup, and I don't get very many opportunities to use it. It would be wasteful to let it dry out." He finished with the eyeliner and started putting on lip-gloss. It was cherry flavored, and Ray could smell it from where he was standing.

Fraser scrutinized himself closely in the cracked mirror and straightened. "You look very nice, Ray," he said. "But do you really need that many pockets?" He reached out for a zipper and Ray hastily backed out of range.

"Most of the zippers aren't real pockets, Fraser," he explained. "They're just for decoration."

"Oh, I see. They're very...decorative."

Ray shrugged. "It was the eighties," he said. "It was a scary time and I had a motorcycle. Didn't they have the eighties in Canada?"

"Well, of course, Ray. Would you like eyeliner, too? I've never put it on anyone else before, but I'm confident---"

"No," Ray said, horrified to realize that he was saying no not because it would be gay or because eyeliner was _not_ his thing but because he actually kind of wanted Fraser to, and he didn't want Fraser to figure that out.

Fraser looked kind of disappointed. "You have a much better facial structure for it than I do. Your eyes---"

"Never mind, Benny," Ray interrupted, because he could not handle this. "Okay, our cover story: we're gay, we're boyfriends, we're looking to use Third Eye recreationally together. You got that?"

"Yes, Ray."

"Who am I?"

"You're Ray, my---boyfriend." His voice cracked on the word.

It actually kind of reassured Ray, that he wasn't the only one this was weird for. But it also really irritated him, since it was Fraser who had wanted to do this in the first place. "C'mon, Benny. You can't do better than that, Mrs. Kaldera's kid will have died for nothing."

Fraser squared his shoulders and gave Ray the full force of his Mountie stare. "You're my boyfriend, Ray."

Ray coughed. "Yeah, that's great. And are you gay?"

"Well, no, Ray, I'm---"

"Fraser, stop telling the truth! We're going to a gay bar, we're a couple, and you're gay, end of story."

"Yes, Ray."

"All right, put on your shirt and let's go."

"Oh, I'm just wearing this," Fraser said. He grabbed his brown leather jacket off the bathroom doorknob and shrugged into it.

 _I can do this_ , Ray thought. _I just have to not look at Benny for the next few hours, and I'll be okay._

###

The first sign that the club wasn't quite what they were expecting was, well, the sign. It was a giant plastic heart with blue and pink neon veins running over the outside. That was weird, but not that weird. Ray looked at Fraser, who pursed his lips in that "I don't know either" way he sometimes did and grabbed Ray's hand.

Ray stared down at their joined hands. Oh God, this really was like high school, he was already starting to sweat. "Uh, Fraser..."

"Undercover, Ray," Fraser said.

"Right," Ray said, and they went in. Handholding actually worked pretty good with Benny, maybe because they were the same height. "Fraser...there are an awful lot of girls here."

"Yes, Ray."

"Some of them are with guys."

"Yes, Ray."

"I mean, _with_ guys."

"Yes, Ray."

But it didn't look like a leather bar either, or really any kind of club patronized by anyone with unnatural desires. It was well-lit and clean, with a sort of pink and blue glow over everything from the bright lights over the bar. There was a pink disco ball over the dance floor. No one looked drugged out or even fall-down drunk. Relentlessly middle-class-looking people were drinking and dancing and flirting and eating bad bar food while Madonna played on the speakers. It wasn't even loud enough to hurt Ray's ears.

"What the hell?" Ray said. Fraser didn't answer, so Ray pulled him over to the bar and set him on a stool before taking one himself. He had to tug a little before Fraser let go of his hand. "Bloody Mary," he told the bartender. "But make it heavy on the blood." He wasn't technically working, sure, but there was no way he was getting sloshed, not with the bizarre Fraser-related thoughts he'd been having.

"You want that virgin?" the bartender asked, winking at him. "Best quality. Only two dollars extra."

Ray stared. "You charge extra for virgin? That is the most backwards thing I ever heard. No thanks, vodka it is." He turned to Fraser. "What are you drinking?"

"Oh, I can pay for my own drink, Ray," Fraser said. To Ray's surprise, he actually sounded kind of uncomfortable. Fuck. Had he been picking up on the weird vibes from Ray?

"I don't think they take Canadian," he snapped. "Name your poison."

"Name my--? Oh, I see. I'll have a bottle of mineral water, please."

A bottle of Ty Nant appeared in front of Fraser, and Ray groaned inwardly. That stuff cost an arm and a leg and maybe a few internal organs. Although the way Fraser wrapped his mouth around the blue glass, maybe it was worth it. Maybe---

Ray's Bloody Mary appeared, and he downed half of it in one gulp. It burned, and instead of the familiar taste of tomatoes there was a weird coppery tang. "Augh!" he said, trying not to throw up. "Did your Tabasco sauce go bad or something?"

Fraser's gaze sharpened. "That's unlikely, Ray," he said. "Tabasco sauce has a shelf life of five years when stored in a cool, dry place. May I?"

Ray nodded, prepared for Fraser to stick a finger in his drink. Instead Fraser picked up Ray's glass and took a small sip. His eyes widened. "I don't think that's tomato juice, Ray."

"Then what is it?" Ray said, unable to take his eyes off the perfect pink lip-gloss ring Fraser had left on his glass. There weren't any other lip marks on the rim, which meant Fraser had drunk from same spot he had. Cherry-flavored. Fuck.

"Well, I can't be completely sure, Ray," Fraser said apologetically. "The alcohol is masking the taste to a large extent."

"Oh my God," Ray said. "I need to wash my mouth out. Get me a mint, will you?" He slid off the stool.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, Ray---"

"I think I can go to the bathroom by myself, Fraser," Ray snapped.

When he came back, Fraser was gone.

  
Part Two

His half-downed drink was still there, with Fraser's lip-gloss ring on it. There was even a small pile of mints sitting next to the glass. Ray ignored them. "Where the hell is he?" he asked the bartender.

The asshole smirked. "I wouldn't want to cause no trouble between you and your boy."

Ray leaned over the bar and hauled the man forward by his tight t-shirt. "You don't want trouble, you better tell me where my partner is, you _stupid_ fuck."

The bartender bared his teeth. Which was weird, but Ray didn't have time to care about one more weird thing. He shook the guy once, hard, and didn't back down. The bartender's gaze suddenly slid to Ray's neck, and he turned absolutely paper white. Throwing up his hands in surrender, he said quietly, "He went outside with a girl, man. I don't want no trouble."

"Good man," Ray said. This was the fucking weirdest joint he'd ever been in. "Out the front door?"

The man nodded, and Ray let go of him and headed for the door.

Out on the street there was no sign of Fraser. But there was an alley next to the club. Ray looked down it, and relief hit him like a ton of bricks. Fraser was at the other end, being hit on by a leggy blonde. Lucky that wasn't too dangerous or Fraser would have been dead years ago. Still, it looked like he might welcome Ray's intervention; the girl had him backed against the wall already and had her hand on his chest.

"Come on," she was saying, stepping _way_ into his personal space. "I promise it won't hurt."

Fraser hugged the wall harder and pretended nothing was happening. He always did this. One day Ray wouldn't be there to run them off, and then Fraser was going to be getting laid every night because the man could just not say no. "As I told you, my boyfriend and I were hoping to discover where we might acquire some Third Eye, and you said you knew---"

She smiled at him, licking her lips. "You're not gay," she said.

"Well, no," Fraser admitted, and Ray groaned. "I believe a more accurate term would be bisexual."

Ray's relief at Fraser's return to character seemed disproportionate, but there was no time to think about that because the girl threw back her head and the dim glow from the streetlights glinted off her teeth, and this wasn't real this couldn't be real but suddenly the bar was making a lot more sense and Ray was sprinting down the alley, everything weirdly slow, and the girl was descending on Benny's neck and the dumb bastard was still not running the fuck away or pushing a girl because that wouldn't be gentlemanly and there was a roaring in Ray's ears---

He grabbed her around the waist and hauled her away, her teeth snapping together with an audible click. She struggled, but she didn't seem to have superstrength or anything, just normal woman strength. After a few seconds, Ray was able to grab her wrist and twist it behind her back hard enough that she froze with a furious growl.

Fraser looked shaken and there was blood running down his neck, although not enough of it to be serious, and Ray wanted to _kill_ him. "Thank you, Ray," he said calmly, and turned to the girl. "You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and---"

The girl tried again to wrench away, and Ray twisted her arm hard enough he could feel the bones grinding together. "Benny, what the hell is wrong with you? Do not read her her rights. Do not arrest her. Cut her damn head off!"

Now Fraser looked really shocked. "I know you don't mean that, Ray."

"Yes, I do! In case it has escaped your notice, she is a vampire and she just tried to drink your blood!"

"Well, yes, Ray. That is why we are arresting her for attempted assault."

"You do not arrest vampires, Fraser! You stake them! You cut their heads off! Don't you watch TV? Oh, that's right, you don't, so listen to the expert!"

"Surely you aren't advocating vigilante justice, Ray," Fraser said in his most disapproving tone. "Assault isn't even a capital crime."

"She was going to kill you!"

"We have no reason to suspect that. She may merely have intended---"

"Shut the hell up and get my cuffs out of my jacket pocket, Fraser." The girl made like she was going to start struggling again, and Ray said, "You wanna add resisting arrest to the charges?" She tilted back her head like she was gonna say something or maybe try to bash her head into his nose, but then she jerked away like she'd been burned and just kind of cursed to herself instead. Ray looked down in surprise and saw that his cross had fallen out of his shirt. So that was what the bartender had been staring at.

"Which pocket, Ray?"

Fuck. "I...I don't remember, Benny." So he and the girl stood there while Fraser patted him down and then tried several zippers. It would have been weird and distracting, except there was blood drying on Fraser's neck and every time Ray saw it, he just twisted the girl's arm a little more. If it had taken Fraser one more minute to find Ray's cuffs, he probably would have broken it.

But finally the girl was cuffed and in the backseat of the Riv. "Did you pay the tab, Ray?" Fraser asked.

"No, I did not pay for my blood drink," Ray snapped. "Get in the damn car."

Fraser clucked disapprovingly and headed back in the bar.

Ray only let him go because he trusted him out here with the girl even less. "If you are not back out here in thirty seconds I am going in there and I am shooting everyone within a six-foot radius of you, do you hear me?" he yelled.

"Understood."

Luckily he came out again twenty seconds later, throwing a pleasant "Thank you kindly" over his shoulder like he hadn't just walked into a vampire bar with a bleeding neck and paid them in Canadian. Ray shook his head and got in the car.

###

An hour later the girl was in holding, and Fraser had even bullied the guy on duty into covering up the window in the holding cell. Fraser sat on Ray's desk while Ray put that antibiotic goop on his neck. "The good news is it's not deep," he told Fraser, running a thumb over the wound. "The bad news is you're a moron."

"Yes, Ray," Fraser said in a kind of strangled voice.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No, Ray."

"We are not going back to that place."

"I suppose that would be wise."

Ray put a band-aid over the cuts and stood up. "All right. I'm taking you home, and in the morning I will call my friend in Vice. This is not our case anymore, you hear me?"

"Yes, Ray."

"You've forgotten all about it already, right?"

"I don't know if I can do that," he said.

"Why _not_?"

"Ray, I---we can't overlook the possibility that I've been infected," Fraser said in a really quiet voice. "I know it's unlikely, but---"

"Benny, you can't catch AIDs from saliva. If anyone should be worried, it's me. I drank blood, for Christ's sake!"

Fraser perked up a little at the opportunity to deliver information. "Actually, the risk of HIV infection from drinking blood is relatively minor---though not nonexistent, of course. It is comparable to giving unprotected oral sex to a male partner, where the rates of infection are disputed, but generally reported at---"

"Yeah, yeah," Ray said hastily, rubbing his neck. "I get the picture."

"Besides, the alcohol would have had a sterilizing effect."

"Sure, Fraser."

"At any rate, Ray, I was referring to vampirism."

Ray felt like he was trapped in an exploding apartment---the world just _stopped_ , except it also hurt really bad.

But only for a second. "Benny, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard. It's not like zombies, you can't get turned into a vampire just from being grazed by their teeth."

"Ray, we can't know that for certain. We don't know anything about this for certain."

"We can go ask that bitch in holding," Ray said. "You know what your problem is, Fraser? You're too damn nice. You talked that guy into covering up her window when you thought maybe she turned you into a vampire? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"That woman has no motivation to tell us the truth," Fraser said. "I see no point to risking a suit for police harassment."

Okay. Fraser had just actually admitted, out loud, that someone might lie to him. He must be really freaked out. "Look, Benny," Ray said, "if you were turning into a vampire, you wouldn't be able to touch my cross, right? It scared the shit out of the bartender."

"You may be right, Ray."

Ray was reaching up to unhook the chain when Fraser just reached out and swiped his thumb over the cross. Ray froze. "Does it---does it hurt?" he got out.

"No, Ray," Fraser said in a low voice. He ducked his head---Ray could not believe this was happening---and licked the hollow of Ray's throat, over the cross. Then he pulled the cross into his mouth and sucked on it, gently. Ray could feel the slight tug of the chain at the back of his neck and Benny's hair was tickling the underside of his chin and the only good thing about their current position was that Fraser could probably not actually see Ray's crotch.

Fraser dropped the cross and sat back on the edge of the desk. There was a cold, wet stripe on Ray's neck where his tongue had been. "Well, I certainly did not seem to experience any adverse effects. But it may be too early to tell."

"Fine," Ray said, because it was obvious that Fraser was not going to budge on this anymore than he ever budged on anything, and also his brain wasn't really functioning well enough at the moment to argue. "You are not a vampire, but just in case, perhaps I'd better keep you under surveillance for a while. When did you have dinner?"

"I haven't eaten dinner, Ray. Mrs. Kaldera---"

Bingo. It was hard to remember sometimes that Fraser was affected by that stuff, but he was. The guy was just hungry and tired and weirded out. He'd be okay in a few hours. "Yeah. Okay, why don't you come over to the house and have some nice garlicky Italian food and see if anything develops?"

"I don't want to endanger your family, Ray."

Ray rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll cook at your place, even though you have the most unreliable stove in the history of the universe. But we'll have to stop at the supermarket on the way. You think you can live with endangering the freaks who go grocery shopping at ten o'clock at night?"

###

Ray was happily chopping garlic with Fraser's razor sharp vegetable knife, pretending it was Vampire Bitch's fingers, when Fraser made a pained noise and said, "I think it may be starting, Ray."

Ray looked around. He knew it was going to be something stupid, but the look on Benny's face turned his guts upside down anyway. "What's wrong, Benny?"

"I ate some garlic, and it burned me."

Ray closed his eyes. "How much garlic did you eat, Benny?"

"A clove."

"You ate an entire clove of raw garlic and you're worried because it burned you."

"Well, when you put it like that, Ray---"

"Fraser, you have the most sensitive tongue of anyone I know," Ray said, and why did that sound so dirty all of a sudden? "This is not surprising. Drink a glass of water and calm down."

"Yes, Ray."

###

"Okay, Fraser, blind taste test time."

"You want to blindfold me?"

Yes. Yes he did. Where was all this coming from? He'd always been straight before, hadn't he? "Nah, you can't tell the difference by looking anyway. Okay, try Sauce Number One." He held out a spoonful of sauce, but instead of grabbing the spoon like a normal person Fraser opened his mouth and ducked his head towards it so that Ray had no choice but to feed it to him. "What do you think?"

"I'd rather taste the other one before I draw any conclusions, Ray."

So Ray spoon-fed Fraser some of the other sauce and tried not to think about spoon-feeding Fraser other stuff, like cherry ice cream and hot fudge sauce and wedding cake and-- _wedding cake_? Where the _hell_ had _that_ come from? "Well?"

Fraser gave him a relieved smile. "You were right. The one with garlic doesn't burn me at all. It is also significantly more flavorful."

Ray grinned back and dished up pasta and sauce and garlic bread. He put the non-garlic pot on the floor for Dief along with a bag of donuts.

"You're spoiling him," Fraser said. "Diefenbaker, you can have one now, but save the rest for later."

Diefenbaker, of course, didn't listen. "See?" Ray said. "Wolves obey vampires."

"I suppose there would be advantages," Fraser said as he watched Dief scarf down his third donut, snorting and snapping his lips.

"Listen to zem, ze children of ze night," Ray said. "Vat music zey make!" Fraser gave him one of those special disapproving looks that actually meant he was amused.

Ray thought they had put the whole thing to bed ( _Don't think about bed, don't think about bed..._ ), but as soon as Fraser finished his ice cream ( _Don't think about spoon-feeding it to him, just don't think about it..._ ) and turned on the water to wash the dishes, he said, "Ray---" in this hesitant way that meant he wanted to talk about something.

"This isn't more about the vampire thing, is it? Because you are not turning into a vampire, so stop worrying about it."

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

"Well, prevention would have been _not_ going out into an alley with a hot blonde, Fraser."

Fraser sighed. "I'm aware of that. I meant, however, that being prepared for my possible transformation would be preferable to seeking to deal with it after the fact. If I were to change into a vampire overnight without anyone's being aware of it, I could wreak untold havoc before being brought to justice."

"You want me to stay here and keep an eye on you? I'll tell you if I notice you drinking blood. Also, I get the bed. You can bedroll it up on the floor."

Fraser bit his lip and stared at his sudsy dishes. "That's very generous of you, Ray, but I think, under the---circumstances, that it might be inadequate. Perhaps if you were to telephone for backup."

"Yeah, I can just imagine explaining to Huey that you might be turning into a vampire, so he needs to get out of bed in the middle of the night and come over here to restrain you. I'd never hear the end of that one."

"Then perhaps you could handcuff me to something---"

"Oh, no you don't, Fraser!" Ray said hastily. "First of all, I do not handcuff my friends to things." He thought about that. "Unless I have to arrest them, or unless they are a sexy brunette and get off on that, because what can I say, some girls love a harsh but fair man in uniform. But the point is, I'm not handcuffing you to anything, because you don't handcuff people to things while they're asleep, Fraser. It could cut off your circulation, or you could dislocate something."

Fraser coughed. "I---Understood, Ray. However, if we cannot think of a suitable alternative, I will have to ask you to drive me to the precinct so that I can spend the night in holding."

And that was _not_ an okay thought, Benny locked in one of those little rooms alone waiting to wake up allergic to sunlight. The worst part of it was, Fraser might not even notice that that wasn't okay. He seemed to be used to sleeping alone in hard narrow beds and worrying to himself.

"Not on my watch, Fraser." This shoulda happened to Ray, he could have dealt with it better. The second he started worrying, his ma would have shown him what worrying was. He could just hear her, laying on the Catholic guilt: _You think your new vampire girlfriend is going to make you lasagna when I fall on the stairs and break my hip because you were too busy feeding on the blood of the innocent to shovel the snow? Oh, if only I hadn't let you drop out of catechism class, this would never have happened!_ and on and on and by the fifth sentence he'd have forgotten he was worried because he'd be so damn annoyed.

But it hadn't happened to him, had it? What had Mrs. Kaldera said? _You're a good Catholic boy, aren't you? You'll be safe._

Bingo! "All right, Benny. We'll spend the night at my church. Then if you start turning into a vampire, we'll know, because you'll start freaking out from all the crosses and stuff."

Fraser relaxed a little. "I should think the hallowed ground itself would be enough to provoke a reaction, Ray. But surely the church is locked at this time of night?"

Ray grinned at him. "Yeah, well, Father Behan asked me to help him replace a couple of basement windows this Saturday. Apparently the locks are rusted through. Completely useless."

"Isn't that breaking and entering?"

"Hey, it's a church, right? Father Behan is always saying a church's doors should be open to anyone."

"I don't think he meant that literally, Ray."

"No judge in Chicago would convict us, Benny. But we're stopping by my place for some extra pillows first, or no deal."

  
Part Three

The first thing Ray saw when he opened the door from the kitchen and offices into the central nave was that damned poor-box. He hoped his church wouldn't be bad luck for Fraser a second time.

Bad luck or not, it was dark and cold. A few chilly shafts of moonlight penetrated the stained-glass windows. Ray was several steps into the church, carrying their stack of blankets and pillows, when he realized Fraser wasn't behind him.

He turned to see Fraser standing perfectly still, his attention focused on the font by the door.

Ray rolled his eyes. "Go ahead. I promise it won't burn you."

Fraser shot him a look that Ray couldn't read in the dark. He walked over to the font, reached out, and set his hand palm-down in the holy water. After a few seconds, he scooped some up and started to bring it to his lips.

"Stop," Ray said without meaning to.

Fraser looked inquiringly at him.

"Damn," Ray said. "Now you got _me_ doing it. Look, I know it's stupid, but I don't want you drinking that, okay? You wanna taste it, fine, but don't swallow any." Fraser raised his eyebrows a little, but he let the water fall from between his fingers and instead leaned forward and plunged his entire face into the font.

He brought his head up and shook it like Diefenbaker after a bath, sending holy water flying. Droplets sprinkled Ray's face and neck. More beads of water dripped from Benny's hair and ran down his forehead, glittering in the moonlight, and Ray was suddenly not thinking about vampires and thinking a whole hell of a lot about Fraser. Benny licked holy water off his lip and Ray was very, very glad there was a duffel bag and a large heap of bedding separating his crotch from Fraser's line of sight.

"Any burning?"

"No, Ray."

"Didn't think so. Where do you figure's holiest? I'm ready for some sleep."

"I believe the sanctuary would be the, er, holiest, Ray, but it would be disrespectful to sleep there. I think here will do nicely."

So Ray rolled out the bedrolls and divided the pillows and blankets, ignoring Fraser's insistence that he only needed one of each. When he was done, he risked looking at Benny again. He couldn't see much.

It was too damn dark. Fraser shouldn't be in the dark, not tonight. Ray wanted to be able to see Benny's face. The stand of votives was behind them. It only took a minute for Ray to find the half-used box of matches and light a few.

"Aren't those intended for prayer?" Fraser asked from his bedroll.

"I _am_ praying. I'm praying that you stop acting stupid. That's why this is a statue of St. Jude."

"Ah, the patron saint of desperate cases and lost causes. Very apt, Ray. But aren't you supposed to donate? The church has to pay for those."

"Zuko pays for those, you mean."

Fraser just looked at him, so Ray took out his wallet. "All I got is a twenty."

Silence.

"Have it your way, Fraser, but then I'm lighting them all."

Now Fraser was giving him a really weird look, but Ray didn't know why so he ignored it as he lit the entire bank of votives. It didn't really get much brighter, so he went over and lit the ones on the other side of the aisle too. Now there was a narrow strip of light across the front of the church and a flickering golden glow on Benny's face. He was still staring at the candles with an odd expression.

"What is it, Benny?"

Fraser closed his eyes. "Nothing."

Ray shrugged. "Whatever." He got into his bedroll and snuggled down under the blankets. This was actually pretty comfy, although his back might not feel that way in the morning.

But Fraser could never just let things go. "Ray, I know you have expressed a disinclination to canvass the matter further, but in the event that I do transform, I---"

"Not gonna happen," Ray said, turning over and closing his eyes. It was way past his bedtime. He thought about that for a second. Fuck, he was getting old.

"No, Ray, I agree that it's very unlikely, but I still feel we should be prepared for the possibility."

Ray sighed and turned back over, opening his eyes. "You're not gonna make me put up blackout curtains in your apartment or something, are you?"

Fraser shot him a startled glance. "That isn't what I had in mind, no."  
  
"Then what?"

Fraser took a deep breath. "Ray, I realize this is a lot to ask, but should I become---vicious---I would like you to be the one to deal with me."

Suddenly Ray didn't feel even remotely like sleeping. He sat up. "What, like put you down?"

Fraser nodded.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Fraser? Of course I wouldn't do that. I didn't even think you should put down the wolf, remember? What, you think I'm gonna cut off your head?"

Fraser frowned at the candles, the line of his jaw tight. Ray remembered that look from the hospital, after Victoria. "If necessary."

Ray felt queasy. "No way in hell, Benny."

Fraser's shoulders slumped. "I understand, Ray. Perhaps it would be easier to delegate the task to someone less personally involved."

Ray wanted to smack him. Hard. "What about this don't you get, Fraser? Over my dead body is _anybody_ going to shoot, stab, behead, stake, or otherwise injure you!"

Fraser flinched. "That's precisely what I'm afraid of, Ray."

"You know, I don't understand you, Fraser. You didn't even want me to take out that bitch at the bar, but when it's _your_ life all of a sudden it's vigilante justice all the way?"

"It wouldn't necessarily be _me_ , Ray," Fraser said. "Most vampire legends include a drastic change in personality."

"So what?" Ray demanded. "I've always said you needed a drastic change in personality."

Fraser rubbed at his eyes. "So you have, Ray. But if I tried to hurt you---"

Ray tried to put his hand on Fraser's arm, but he shied away. "Benny, you would never hurt me. No matter what."

Fraser jerked around at that, looking Ray in the eye for this first time in this whole conversation. "You would be the first person I would hurt," he said intently.

Ray blinked. "How do you figure?"

Fraser turned back to the candles. "Legends always contain a seed of truth, Ray," he said in a tight voice that just kept getting tighter as he talked. "In vampire myths, the sharing of blood is essentially a metaphor. Blood is a symbol of warmth, of love, or, most commonly, of sex. These are, in essence, the things that make us human and that make us alive. But instead of offering and receiving these gifts freely, the vampire takes them by force. It seems logical that were I to become a vampire, I would first attack the person on whom my emotional and sexual desires were most strongly focused."

Well, that couldn't be him, right? Right? "Then I guess it's too bad Victoria's not here," Ray said caustically.

Fraser's jaw set. "An excellent reminder that I hardly need to be a vampire to willfully endanger you."

And why couldn't Ray ever just keep his damn mouth shut? "Fraser, that was an isolated incident. I was pissed off about it, yeah, but you didn't---"

"It wasn't an isolated incident," Fraser said very quietly.

Ray really didn't want to get into the whole thing with Canada and the head wound. "Look, Fraser, I know confession is good for the soul, but you really don't have to do this. You're a good friend, okay?"

"I suspected that the Heart of Glass was not a gay club."

 _That_ made Ray do a double-take. " _What_?"

"Mrs. Kaldera's warning was certainly ambiguous, but my instincts told me she meant something rather more portentous than a mere homosexual hangout."

"Then---then---why did you let me make a complete fool of myself?" Ray sputtered furiously. And Fraser didn't even _know_ how much of a fool Ray had made of himself, for which Ray was profoundly grateful. "Why am I wearing this godawful jacket? _You held my hand!_ "

Fraser took in a deep breath and let it out. "I know. I'm sorry, Ray. Once again, I permitted my desires to interfere with what I knew to be right. I knew there were risks and I allowed you to walk into them blind because I---well, because I wanted to hold your hand, Ray."

Ray thought about that for a second, and also replayed the comment about Fraser's emotional and sexual desires. "You weren't lying to that girl, were you," he said finally. "When you said you were bisexual."

"No."

This was too weird. Benny, the guy all the girls went crazy over, the guy who could make a uniform look like porn, Benny...wanted to go on a date with Ray? So much that he let it interfere with a _case_? What was Ray supposed to say to that?

It hit him that the eyeliner and the lip gloss and the tight jeans, those had been for him too. Fraser had gotten dressed up for him. Holy crap.

Then he got a good look at Fraser. Benny's expression was still pretty blank, but he was sitting stiff as a board on top of his blankets. He'd washed off the eyeliner, but he was still in the damn undershirt and jacket, trying to pretend he never got cold just like he pretended he never got hot in the serge.

Fraser loved him and he was freaking out and he needed him. Fraser needed him. Ray wasn't used to that. He was used to being the one that freaked out, the one that needed. With Irene and Ange and even with Fraser. He had a sudden flashback to sitting on Irene's floor and her wrapping a blanket around him. She'd taken care of him, but he hadn't been able to take care of her.

"God, you must be freezing," he said. "C'mere, you need to put on a sweater or something."

"I'm fine, Ray," Fraser said, but when Ray dug through his duffel bag and brought out a sweater, he put it on.

"You know what your problem is? You always think everything is your fault. Sometimes shit just happens---or doesn't happen, because you are _not_ a vampire." He didn't really know how to address the other stuff. What would he do if Benny were a girl? Use some dumb line and then go for a kiss, probably. Instead he reached out and grabbed Fraser's hand. "Look, Benny---I'm not good at talking about this stuff." He stopped, tried to think what to say again.

"It's all right, Ray. I never expected you to reciprocate my feelings. I simply felt it was my responsibility to---"

"To make me aware of your criminal negligence, yeah, I got that." He looked at Fraser, who was sitting cross-legged and staring at the floor and whose hand was limp in his. This was a lot harder than climbing the sides of buildings or even jumping on moving trains while holding a wolf. But those things were completely crazy too, and he'd done them when Benny had needed him to. Ray rubbed his thumb in a small circle over Fraser's palm, and Fraser actually shuddered. Somehow that made things easier. "Benny, I never really thought about this before. At least, I didn't think I did. But now I think maybe I did, because you are definitely not the only one here with the unnatural desires. What I mean is, I've pretty much been having homosexual thoughts all night, most of them involving your mouth."

Fraser swallowed. "My---my mouth?"

"Well, you're wearing cherry lip gloss, Benny."

Fraser's mouth actually curled up a little at the corner. "So I am."

"You really didn't notice that I got hard when you did that thing with the cross?"

"Well, I did notice a change in your scent and an increased heart rate, Ray, but it can be difficult to distinguish the biological effects of arousal from those of fear or nervousness." He was definitely holding Ray's hand now, but he wasn't making any moves to do anything else, or even looking at Ray.

Ray squeezed his hand. "Fraser, this is a happy thing, right? We're both lonely single guys, and now we like each other, right?"

"Yes, Ray."

"Then why are we not kissing?"

Fraser shot him a glance out of the corner of his eye.

"This isn't still the vampire thing, is it?"

Fraser nodded. "I agree with you that I haven't been affected yet, Ray, but we don't know how long a potential transformation might take."

"Benny, you are not turning into a vampire. You _know_ you are not turning into a vampire. You're just feeling guilty because you put me in danger, and you don't act like that usually because you keep yourself under such damn tight control all the time. And suddenly you're feeling things you can't control and you've decided that it must be because you're becoming a member of the undead. This is just some wacky Canadian manifestation of your guilt and repression."

"An insightful analysis."

"I'm Catholic, we know guilt. So why can't you just let it go?"

"I don't know, Ray. I've always been this way. When I was eight I became convinced there was a monster in my closet, and it took a two-week investigation to persuade me otherwise."

"But there wasn't a monster in your closet, was there?"

"Well, no. The noises I was hearing turned out to be a gang of salmon smugglers who were using my grandparents' lean-to as their base. It was my first citizen's arrest."

It was just such a Fraser thing to say that suddenly everything was real, Fraser liked him and he liked Fraser and he felt like his heart was just going to pop out of his chest. "Benny, let me kiss you."

"I want to," Fraser said in a low voice. And that was a no, and Ray could ignore it and Benny might even let him, but that would make him just like pretty much everyone else in Fraser's life.

Ray sighed and tried not to look at the line of Fraser's throat as he swallowed. "Okay, Fraser. Let's get some sleep. You wanna move our bedrolls together at least?"

"I--" Fraser's voice cracked. "I don't think that would be wise."

Ray nodded, unsurprised. "Listen, you start to feel weird or uncomfortable, any burning or anything, you wake me up and we'll deal with it, okay? Don't do anything stupid."

"Understood."

Ray sighed again and kissed Benny's knuckles. Fraser's hand tightened around his, and Ray squeezed back, trying not to feel resentful that that was all the action he was getting tonight. Then he let go of Benny's warm, strong hand and burrowed back into his bedroll like he was gonna go to sleep. Then he waited, because he'd watched Benny sleep before. On stakeouts in the Riv, in the hospital after Victoria, in Canada. And yeah, okay, some of that time Fraser had been feverish, but not all of it. And Fraser could will himself to sleep on a dime but once he was under he tended towards nightmares. So Ray waited and listened to Fraser breathing.

Sure enough, after about half an hour Fraser started kinda twitching and making noises. It was like he was talking in his sleep, but too quiet to make out, just his mouth working and faint muttering. Like he was calling for help from too deep inside himself for anyone to hear.

And Benny would say no to this too, but he was asleep and he was unhappy and fuck it. Ray scooted his bedroll over next to Benny's and grabbed his hand. He threw his blanket over both of them, smoothed Benny's hair, and whispered, "Hey, you're okay. I'm here."

Benny calmed immediately, just stopped moving and lay there big and solid and breathing evenly like he was doing doorman duty in his sleep. Ray felt pretty good about himself. He curled up next to Benny and closed his eyes.

Ray woke up to find that they had shifted in the night. Benny was curled against Ray's back, an arm heavy over Ray's side, which felt really good, how had Ray ever slept any other way? And he was mouthing at Ray's neck in the sexiest--- _mouthing at Ray's neck_? Ray still wasn't entirely awake or thinking straight. _Vampire!_ he thought, every muscle in his body going stiff, and by the time he realized that was stupid Fraser had woken up.

  
Part Four

Benny shoved him away so quickly Ray almost got whiplash. Fuck. "Did I---? Was I---?"

"No," Ray snapped. "You were giving me a hicky. It felt pretty damn great and I own a lot of turtlenecks, so really, there was no downside."

"Ray," Fraser said in his sadly disappointed voice. Most of the candles had burned out, but by the light of the few that remained, Ray could see that his hair was all mussed, and that one of Ray's zippers was imprinted on his cheek.

Ray bit his lip. "Look, the sharing a bedroll thing. I know I shouldn't have, because you said no and I respect that, I swear. But you weren't sleeping good. What am I supposed to do, just sit here and listen to you having nightmares?"

"I'm sorry if I was disturbing you," Fraser said stiffly.

"You _know_ that's not what I meant, Fraser."

Fraser sighed. "Perhaps. But I still feel that we ought to be cautious, at least for a day or two. My father always said---"

Ray really didn't want to hear it. As far as he could tell, Fraser's father always said whatever would make Ray most miserable. "Yeah, well, you know what my father said? He said if the date lasts until four in the morning and you haven't banged her, you are a sorry son of a bitch and a disgrace to the Vecchio name."

Fraser blinked. "He really said that?"

"Yeah," Ray said ruefully. "He caught me sneaking back from Irene's one night."

"You and Irene weren't---?"

"Well, sure we were, but I wasn't gonna tell my dad that. He didn't even know who I was meeting."

"That was very chivalrous of you, Ray."

"Yeah, I guess I was an okay kid. It didn't hurt that old man Zuko would have given my _balls_ cement shoes if he found out I was boning his daughter. My point is, you are not a vampire."

Fraser didn't say anything.

Ray had had enough. "Give me your knife, Benny."

"Ray, are you sure that's entirely advisable?"

"Do you trust me?" Ray demanded.

"Implicitly," Fraser said at once.

"Then give me the damn knife."

Fraser pulled the knife out of his boot and handed it to Ray. Ray sliced a hole in the tip of his index finger.

"Ray!"

"It's not deep enough to need first aid," Ray said. "It's just deep enough to bleed." He held out his bleeding hand. "There it is, Fraser. My blood. You want it?"

Fraser was staring at Ray's hand with a kind of horrified fascination. "Yes," he whispered. "I want to---" He broke off, blushing.

Ray blinked. Then he thought about it. This was Fraser. "You wanna lick my fingers."

Fraser nodded.

"That's not bloodlust, Fraser. That's just lust. Go on, try it and see." He stretched his hand toward Fraser.

"Ray---"

"Just do it, Fraser. If it helps you get in the mood, you can pretend my fingers are evidence of a violent crime and also really filthy."

"I don't think that will be necessary, Ray." Fraser reached out and gently grasped his wrist. He bent his head and licked a slow path up Ray's hand, catching the trickle of blood making its way down Ray's palm and tracking it back up Ray's fingers, lightly tonguing the cut.

Ray hissed in a breath, and Fraser stopped immediately. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," Ray said. "That's just really---I like your tongue, okay?"

Fraser licked over Ray's hand one more time, and then gently pulled Ray's index and middle fingers into his mouth. He slid them in and out, sucking. Ray was going to spontaneously combust, he really was, he'd been so wound up all night, and now---Fraser closed his eyes, his hand tightening on Ray's wrist. Ray's fingers slipped in deeper and deeper till he could feel the back of Fraser's throat, and did Benny even _have_ a gag reflex?

Fraser let go of Ray's wrist. Ray slowly drew his fingers out of Benny's mouth. "Well?" he said.

"I believe you were right, Ray," Fraser said. "I still feel---unsatisfied. And it isn't---that is to say, your blood does have an intriguing taste, Ray, but it's not what I want."

Ray grinned. "Well, Benny, I wouldn't want you to be unsatisfied. What can I do to help?"

Fraser moaned, soft and low in his throat. He put a hand on the back of Ray's neck and pulled him forward until their mouths were an inch apart---and then he hesitated.

Ray leaned forward and kissed him, soft and gentle like they were on a first date---which Ray guessed they were. No pressure, no tongue, no anything, just a couple of soft kisses, and then half a second later Benny's tongue was half-way down Ray's throat, and Benny kept making these _noises_ , hot and desperate.

Fraser tugged a little, and shifted, and then Ray was sprawled out across his chest, one hand on the floor and one hand grabbing Benny's jacket. It was amazing, Benny under him like that, solid and alive and Ray could not stop kissing him. Soon his mouth wasn't enough; Ray kissed along his stupidly beautiful square jaw and sucked Benny's earlobe into his mouth. He felt it all over when Benny tilted his head back and moaned. "God, Benny, yeah," he said, blowing hot and gentle into Benny's ear, "I shoulda known you'd have sensitive ears"---he licked along the edge and Benny trembled under him---"I never thought you'd let me do this, I never thought---"

" _Ray._ " Fraser's big Mountie hand tightened on Ray's hip, and no one had ever said Ray's name like that, like just the sound of his voice was more than they could bear.

He kissed down Benny's neck and sucked at his collarbone, at the edge of the sweater, and then he had to admit he didn't know what to do next. With girls, he kind of had a choreography, he knew where he wanted to go and how to get there.

With Fraser, he just knew that he wanted it all and that he had no fucking clue.

He pushed himself up until he could actually focus his eyes on Fraser's face. Fraser's flushed face and darkened eyes and red, open mouth, and fuck. Ray blinked and shook his head. "F---Fraser," he tried. "I---"

"Yes, Ray?" Fraser said, dazed-looking and hoarse but still trying to be polite, and Ray had to get this right, he had to.

"You gotta give me some guidance here," he said. "I've never done this before."

Fraser raised his eyebrows a little. "You're doing fine, Ray."

"Tell me what you like, Benny."

Fraser smiled at him. "I like _you_. Anything beyond that is merely---details."

Ray turned away from the beauty of Fraser's smile and stared at his chest instead. "Yeah, okay," he said. "But look, I---I want it to be good for you. You've had a real tough night and I---fuck, I like you too, all right? A lot, way too much, I like you more than Frannie does and I know that sounds like it shouldn't even be possible but so help me God, it's nothing but the truth. You're---I just want it to be good for you, okay? So help me out here."

Fraser's hands stroked down Ray's sides. Ray looked to see that Fraser's smile had gone blinding and so open it made him want to shut his eyes again, but he didn't because then he wouldn't be able to see Fraser smiling. "You don't have to worry, Ray," Fraser said. "I---well, I consider it ungentlemanly to rank sexual encounters, but were I to do so, I promise you that you have just ensured tonight top place."

He pulled Ray in for another kiss, and Ray went with it, trying to show Fraser with his mouth that he cared about him, that he probably loved him even if he couldn't quite say it, and you don't say a thing like that on the first date anyway. But he'd loved Irene like crazy and they'd still had some pretty terrible sex in the beginning. And the fact that Fraser was so happy just seemed to mean he hadn't been with a lot of people who cared about making it good for him.

"Okay, Benny," he said when he could catch his breath and remember what the hell they'd been talking about, "but if you had to rank your sexual encounters, even though you would never do that, what gets second place?" He thought for a second and added, "If it was with Victoria, skip down to the next one because I don't really want to hear about that."

Fraser tilted his head to the side, considering. "Well, I---" he said, and broke off. Ray could barely make out his blush in the dark. "I suppose it would be with one of my fellow cadets at the Academy. We had just been issued our handcuffs, and he asked me to---well, to restrain him."

Ray shivered. "You liked that?"

Fraser nodded. "I did. There was something intoxicating about being granted so much trust."

Ray's mouth went dry, but hell, he trusted Benny more than anybody else in the entire world, up to and including his mother. He pulled his cuffs out of his back pocket and dangled them above Benny's chest. It was a good thing he hadn't put them in his jacket again, because fooling around with zippers was not on his agenda right now, unless it was the zipper of Benny's jeans.

"Ya wanna?" he asked, sounding nervous to himself and hoping Benny couldn't feel how fast his heart was beating even though that was mostly lust.

Fraser's eyes went wide and he took in a deep, uneven breath. "Ray, you don't have to. I wasn't asking you to."

"You think I don't know that?"

There was silence for a few moments, and then Fraser asked, "You'd really---you'd really let me do that?" He sounded surprised, which kind of pissed Ray off.

"I let you almost drown me in a bank vault. I let you teach me Inuit meditation techniques." He looked Fraser in the eye. "I shot the _Riv_ , Benny. You think I woulda done all that if I didn't trust you?"

Fraser was frozen under him, with this look on his face like holding himself still was the hardest thing he'd ever done and if he didn't concentrate he'd mess it up. "No," he said carefully. "But this is different."

"How?"

Fraser took a deep breath. "We all pretend to be certain people," he said. "People who are very much like us, but not quite. We're none of us as kind or honest or generous as we act. I don't mean we're liars or frauds. We conceal our inner selves because we know we must; it allows us to be family members, friends, partners, and lovers. If we spoke every thought or indulged every whim, we couldn't love or be loved. When you trust me professionally, you're trusting to my reason, to my mind. To allow oneself to be rendered helpless like this, under circumstances when natural inhibitions are lowered by arousal---it requires faith that no previously hidden part of the loved one might prove a threat."

Ray thought about that. He thought about Fraser's Mountie routine, and he thought about Victoria and what she might have done if Benny'd let her get him in handcuffs. He thought about Benny's fear that his unbridled lust had condemned him to an eternity as the walking undead and Ray to an early grave. He remembered Benny talking about how Ray was honest in his heart and Benny wasn't, and he wondered what the hell Benny thought he had inside that Ray had to be afraid of.

"Listen to me, Benny," he said. "I know you. Maybe not as much as I want, you hide a lot of stuff and I wish you didn't. But you're my partner. You've been my partner and my best friend for a couple of years now, and I know you, okay? Yeah, you can be a cold bastard when you need to be, and yeah, you've fucked up a couple times, but I _know_ that I am safe with you. No matter what. So put the damn cuffs on me."

Fraser let out his breath with an involuntary little whine and took the handcuffs. Ray rolled off him and waited while Fraser cased the joint.

After a short scrutiny, Fraser grasped one of the legs of the pew behind their bedrolls, where the beam ran between the bench and the footrest, and tugged it, testing its strength. Then he shoved aside Ray's pillows and moved his bedroll over in front of it.

"If you could find a comfortable position, Ray," he said.

Ray suddenly felt hot all over, and kind of embarrassed. "Uh, sure," he said, not knowing what Benny wanted once he was cuffed. "You want me...on my back?" He paused. "On my front?" Which was really asking, did Fraser want to fuck him, and Ray wasn't even sure what answer he wanted.

Fraser licked his lips. "On your back, if you don't mind."

So Ray lay down on the bedroll and stretched his arms over his head, nervousness blending with being really turned on. He was starting to realize just how bad an idea this was, because he was gonna be hard every Sunday from now until the end of the time just from looking at the pews.

Fraser cuffed him quickly and efficiently, like Ray'd seen him do a million times, but when he was done he leaned down and kissed Ray's wrists, one and then the other. "If you find your hands growing cold, please tell me," he said.

Ray laughed, his breath catching. "Yeah, sure thing, Fraser. I see I really gotta worry about your secret brutality here."

Fraser raised his eyebrows at that. "Sometimes I don't think you take me seriously, Ray."

"What are you gonna do about it?" Ray asked, grinning at him.

Fraser didn't answer, just settled his weight on top of Ray and kissed him. It wasn't the desperate, needy kissing of a few minutes ago, either. This was Benny kissing like he tracked criminals: methodically, single-mindedly, and incredibly well.

Benny bit and licked his way down Ray's neck to his cross. He glanced up at Ray, gave him a wicked little smile, and then tugged it into his mouth again, like he'd done in the station. At the same time his hand slid to Ray's crotch, settling over his erection with a warm, firm pressure that had Ray bucking up and cursing.

"You believe me now?" Ray gasped.

"I think further investigation is called for," Fraser said. "Were you in earnest about owning a number of turtlenecks?"

It took him a minute to remember what Benny was talking about, but when he did---"Hell yes, you've seen 'em."

Fraser latched onto his neck like the world's sexiest suction cup. "Oh, _Jesus_ ," Ray said, and he was going to hell, he was taking the Lord's name in vain _in church_ and he could hear his handcuffs rattling against the pew as he thrust up helplessly into Fraser's annoyingly unmoving hand. "Benny, fuck, please, I will do anything, _God_ \---"

"Anything?" Fraser murmured, taking his hand off Ray's dick--- _yep, cold bastard_ \---and undoing the buttons of Ray's shirt with one hand.

"Anything, Fraser, you're killing me here, and also---if I come in these pants---I don't have anything to change into---and it'll be really uncomfortable--- _holy shit_." Because Fraser had frowned at Ray's undershirt and pulled out his knife.

"Frightened, Ray?"

Ray tried to look at Fraser's face, but it was dark and all the available light seemed to be glinting off that Bowie knife. The one Fraser used for everything, the one Fraser licked dirt off of and threw into the barrel of bad guys' guns, and Fraser kept that knife really damn sharp. And Ray had seen enough porn and dumb martial arts movies to know how this went. "Hell no, Benny," he said. "I love your knife." Sure, sometimes Ray wished Fraser would just get a gun already, but that would be a lot less useful right now so Ray was gonna let it slide.

"Then why did your heart rate just increase by forty percent?"

"Didn't we talk about this earlier? Something about how you can't tell the difference between being scared and turned on?"

Fraser swallowed. "Ah."

"Just watch the jacket, okay? I promised Frannie I wouldn't let you mess it up."

"Thank you for warning me." Fraser did something quick with his hand and _twisted,_ and Ray's undershirt fell open, sliced cleanly in half. It was a hell of a lot sexier in real life than it was in the movies, even if in the movies you got to look at tits afterwards and here all Fraser got was Ray's hairy chest.

But Fraser didn't seem at all disappointed. His eyes glittered as he sheathed his knife. Brushing Ray's undershirt aside, he started right in with the licking, making tiny satisfied noises that actually kind of reminded Ray of Dief with the last few crumbs of a donut. He'd somehow gotten between Ray's legs, and Ray brought his knees up so he could feel Fraser's heart beating against the inside of his thigh and tried not to embarrass himself by humping Fraser's chest.

"Benny, this is great, this is amazing, I am officially nominating your tongue for a Nobel Prize, but I need you to hurry up here, or at least unzip my jeans because they are feeling way too tight right now, oh God yeah just like that"---Fraser plunged his tongue into Ray's bellybutton, which sounded stupid but really, really wasn't---" _God_ , Benny, _yes_ \---"

Now Fraser was undoing Ray's belt and pulling it off, and with every little hitch as it came out of a loop Ray bit the inside of his cheek a little harder trying not to yell. When Fraser popped the button on his fly, Ray tasted blood. Then Fraser spread his hands on Ray's hips---Ray couldn't see it, because he was arching backward so far the bedroll was practically giving his bald spot carpet burn, but he could sure as hell _feel_ it---and ran both his thumbs down Ray's cock, and Ray shouted anyway.

He felt his zipper easing, even though Fraser's hands hadn't moved. Ray looked, and Benny was pulling down Ray's zipper with his _teeth_ , his thumbs following slowly.

Ray thought real hard about the Cubs' newest losing streak to keep from coming then and there. He could still hear his own voice, getting higher and rougher by the second, but he couldn't tell what the hell he was saying anymore by the time Fraser stuck his big warm hand into Ray's pants and wrapped it around his cock.

Ray could feel Fraser's breath on the tip of his dick, _Christ_ , Ray deserved a medal for stamina---maybe the Mounties had a merit badge for it they could give him, and did sleeping with Fraser entitle him to Mountie merit badges? He was about to ask Fraser, but then he realized that Fraser had not yet moved his hand or his head and he should probably ask about that instead. "Benny?"

Benny took a deep breath. "May I?" he asked, inches from Ray's dick, and Ray shuddered all over.

"Fraser, if a guy lets you cuff him to a pew, you probably don't have to get a permission slip to put your mouth on his cock, you know?"

"I'll take that as a yes," Fraser said, and started again with the licking. "You taste---you taste---" He sounded breathless and distracted, and then he jerked backward and said, "You taste like garlic," and doubled over. His other hand hit the floor, and he hissed as if it burned him, snatching the hand back onto the bedroll. "Ray---it's happening---I can feel it---" He brought his head up, eyes glittering, and focused on Ray's neck like it was a bad guy's footprint, and Ray's adrenaline went through the roof. "Where did I put the key?" Benny asked. Then he clutched the front of his borrowed sweater and doubled over again, shaking like he was in pain and making these little gasping noises.

Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_. Ray didn't know if Fraser was really turning into a vampire or just having a panic attack, but either way Ray was handcuffed to a pew and not in a position to do anything about it, and if Fraser did somehow hurt him the guy was never going to forgive himself. And Ray's neck suddenly felt really, really exposed. He could feel his heart rate spiking, and could vampires sense that, or was that werewolves?

"Where is the damn key, Fraser?" he demanded, yanking at the cuffs and cursing when he realized he had about as much chance of breaking the wood as he did of winning the Mr. Universe pageant.

Then he realized that Fraser's gasping noises had changed, and that Fraser was doubled over like that to hide the fact that he was laughing his ass off while Ray had a heart attack. "You sick fuck!" Ray said.

Fraser collapsed on top of him, warm and giggling and relaxed like Ray had seen him once or twice ever, or maybe even never. Ray's heart was still pounding, but he couldn't help grinning even as he said, "When I get out of these, I am going to kick your sorry Canadian ass half-way to the border!"

"Sorry, Ray," Fraser got out, still snickering into Ray's neck. "But the physical effects of fear are startlingly like those of arousal, aren't they?" He put his hand on Ray's cock, and damn if Fraser wasn't right---all that adrenaline had his nerve endings working overtime, and his racing pulse shifted into something pleasant and hot and it was about three strokes before he just lost it and came, floating and white lights and the whole shebang. When people talked about having an out-of-body experience in church, this probably wasn't what they meant, but they did not know what they were missing.

For a second he just lay there---Fraser sprawled comfortably over him looking pleased with himself---and tried to remember the last time he'd had sex this good. He couldn't. Maybe he'd never had sex this good.

Benny cleaned off his own hand and Ray's dick and really, also most of Ray's stomach with his tongue. It was a little weird and gross, but it also felt pretty good and like---like Benny cared about him. It wasn't like Benny hadn't had a lot ickier things in his mouth, so Ray didn't feel too guilty.

"Thank you, Ray," Benny said as he unlocked the cuffs.

"The pleasure was all mine, Fraser," Ray said, feeling generous and happy enough to be polite. Sitting up gave him the biggest head-rush of his life, but luckily when he started to fall over he fell into Fraser.

Benny sucked in a breath, and Ray's sluggish mind realized that what he'd said was actually literally true. "Oh, sorry," he said. "Just gimme a sec here, okay?" Holding onto Benny with one hand, he piled up some pillows against the pew with the other. Then he pulled Benny around so Ray was leaning on the pillows and Fraser was leaning on him, and set to work on Fraser's zipper.

"You really don't have to," Fraser said, but he sounded pretty half-hearted about it, which seemed like progress.

"Like half the people in Chicago wouldn't kill to get in your pants."

"That seems like an unjustifiably inflated figure, Ray--- _Ray!_ "

Ray smiled smugly and kissed the side of Fraser's neck, just behind the band-aid. "Yeah, come on, Benny, I got you," he said, jacking him nice and slow. Fraser's head fell back against Ray's shoulder, and each time Fraser shuddered or moved his hips, Ray could feel it everywhere their bodies were pressed together.

He wrapped his hand tighter around Fraser's cock and his other arm tight around Fraser's chest, and whispered, "Come for me, Benny. I bet you're something when you come, you can't hide anything then, can you? It's just you, all naked and there, and I'm gonna see you, only me, no one but me ever again, you got that? God, I am so crazy about you, come on, Benny, come for me, I wanna see you---"

He'd never done this for another guy before, but he must have been doing okay because Benny did come for him, then and there, crying out his name. He gasped and shuddered and grabbed Ray's thighs hard, and there was absolutely nothing doorman-like about his expression. And even though Ray's own orgasm had been pretty much a perfect ten, somehow this was even better.

It was later than Ray had thought, because as Fraser leaned back against his shoulder, the first early morning sunlight streamed down from the high windows onto Fraser's face. Benny just closed his eyes and tilted his head up. The sun turned his mouth pink and his skin golden and didn't burn him at all. Damn, he was just so freakishly beautiful and he looked so happy. "How you doing, Benny?"

"Fine, Ray."

"Just fine?" Ray teased, dropping a kiss on the top of his head.

"No," Fraser murmured, his voice going all soft and sleepy. "Better than fine." He put his hand over Ray's. "Much better than fine." He paused. "Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what, Benny?"

"About no one but you ever again," Fraser said, real quiet.

"Oh. That. I---I mean, I'm not saying I'm gonna like, stalk you or something if you change your mind."

"You know that's not what I meant, Ray."

Okay, Ray could do this. He just needed a second to work up to it. "Guys aren't good at talking about this stuff, Benny."

"I know," Fraser said, sounding sad. "And I'm very much aware that I'm no better at it than you are. But I do---that is, I would be happy, even honored, to commit to a long-term monogamous relationship with you, although I realize this has all been rather sudden and I would in no way feel slighted if---"

"I meant it," Ray interrupted. "Look, it's just---guys like me don't get this lucky, you know? But right now I don't give a fuck, because you're mine and I'm not giving you back even if God himself comes and tries to take you away. Which, who knows, could happen since God probably doesn't really want two guys doing it in His church."

Fraser smiled again, that open smile from last night, and Ray remembered when he'd seen it before and why it hurt so much. It had been that first morning with Victoria when Benny had been late to work, and even though Ray had already been worried that maybe if Fraser had a girlfriend he wouldn't want to spend quite so much time at the 2-7 or in diners with Ray---hell, maybe he wouldn't even want to stay in Chicago---even so, that smile had made everything else seem pretty unimportant. He squeezed Benny tight enough that the guy sounded breathless when he said, "Ray, I'm confident God doesn't mind at all."

"You think so?"

"I'm sure of it. 'For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.'"

It sounded familiar, but what did it have to do with anything? "I already put twenty dollars in the box, Fraser."

"In the context of the passage, charity actually means love."

"Really?"

"Yes, Ray. It's from the Latin 'caritas,' which shares the same root as 'cherish.' In the Vulgate New Testament, it is often used as a translation of the Greek 'agape,' probably to avoid the sexual connotations of the more common 'amor.' Roughly translated into modern vernacular English, the passage means, 'Now we see as in a mirror, dimly'---bear in mind that the mirrors of the time would have been very unreliable---'but then we will see face to face. Now, I know only a part, but then I will know just as I am known by God. And now, here, we still have faith, hope, and love; but love is the most important.'"

"Huh." Ray thought about it. So maybe he didn't know Fraser as well as he wanted, yet; but faith, hope, and love---he could do that. He might have to work on hope, it wasn't really his thing, but he could do it.

"God doesn't mind anything that is done in love."

"Then I guess God won't mind anything you and me do, Benny," Ray told him, resting his chin on Fraser's shoulder.

Fraser smiled. "I love you too, Ray."

Ray laughed. "You sneaky bastard!"

"Who, me?" Fraser asked innocently.

"You can't fool me with that wide-eyed Mountie crap, you---"

Fraser laughed, and Ray had no choice but to do some more stuff God wouldn't mind at all.


End file.
